Bidding as a Family
Posted by Beth Payne on Monday, July 11th
2016
The 2016 bid
season is just about to begin and for those of you bidding on your next
assignment, this will be a stressful time as you maneuver new bidding rules,
struggle to understand all those unspoken rules, and try to find a posting that
meets all of your professional and personal needs. Bidding can be even more
stressful on a family since each family member’s needs and goals add more
complexity to selecting your top bids. Do you choose quality of schools over
career priorities? How heavily do you weigh the availability of meaningful work
for a spouse? How much does pollution or disease impact your decision? Should
you consider an unaccompanied tour?
If your family
will be directly impacted by your assignment, it is very important that you set
priorities and make bidding decisions as a family. When family members perceive
that their goals and needs are not being considered, this can cause resentment
that erodes familial resilience. This makes the move to a new post even more
stressful and slows the adjustment process for family members. Here are some
tips on how you can ensure that you are bidding as a family.
Identify your goals for your next assignment as a
family. List all of the goals each
of you have, both personally and professionally — each member’s needs should be
identified and noted. Then, work together to prioritize these goals finalizing
your list only when you reach a consensus on family priorities. As a family you
may decide that one member’s goal needs to take priority over others for this
move, but the decision should be reached as a family.
View the bid list with goals in mind. For every job on the bid list, identify which of
the goals that assignment would meet. Focus on your high priority goals and
don’t get distracted by posts that seem great but don’t meet your goals. If you
find yourself rethinking your goals, explore why. If you’re convinced you
selected the wrong goals, go back to step 1 without thinking about specific
posts and re-select your goals.
Keep everyone involved. Discuss each possible bid with the whole
family, so that everyone knows what the possibilities are. Not only will
such transparency avoid unpleasant surprises, but it can build excitement for
the unique attractions of each post. Imagining multiple possibilities can be
fun, relieving the stress of the unknown. Having something to look forward
to with each bid can also help with the next item.
Manage expectations. There may be the perfect post on your list that
meets all of your high priority goals, but are you going to get the job?
Hopefully you will, but make sure everyone in the family has realistic
expectations and understands that you may not get your first choice. Managing
disappointment can be challenging – focus on the positive aspects of the
outcome rather than what you’ve lost.
Be grateful. Once you have your new assignment, encourage every member
of the family to write down what they are grateful for and looking forward to
in the new assignment. Revisit and revise these lists as you prepare to move to
your new city. Six months after you arrive at post, review the lists again and
make sure you’re taking advantage of all the things that excited you about the
posting months before you arrived.
Visit Beth
Payne’s blog Fostering
Resilience.
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