"Coping with the Stress of Change" Webinar

Coping with the Stress of Change

      Wednesday, April 27 @ 0900-1000 (ET)

S – T – R – E – S – S….it comes at all of us in one form or another.  However one of the greatest sources of stress is change! 

The FLO Unaccompanied Tour Support Team knows all about change.

 

Change of location, change of routine, change of lifestyle, change of parenting skills, changes in relationships due to separation, and the list goes on. 

This webinar is open to all employees and adult family members.

We hope you’ll join us to discuss coping skills in dealing with change and the stress that comes along with it at our next webinar.

Virtual participants will need a computer with a high-speed internet connection and computer speakers. The “chat” function will allow virtual participants to post questions during the presentation.

To participate in the webinar visit:  Department of State Webinar Enter as a guest; type your first name and your current or future post. 

A digital link to a workbook to accompany the “Coping with the Stress of Change” webinar is available upon request by writing to FLOAskUT@state.gov.

No matter what kind of change you’re dealing with there’s no reason to let it get the better of you. FLO UT Team is here to help! The webinar session will be led by our partners at MHN

 Any questions please contact us at FLOAskUT@state.gov or call 202-647-1076 

Mark Your Calendars! Webinar: "Enhancing Stress Resilience for Kids" - Wednesday, January 27 9:00-10:00 a.m. ET

The Family Liaison Office in partnership

with MHN (formerly Managed Health Network)

presents an interactive workshop

“Enhancing Stress Resilience for Kids”

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

9:00 -10:00 A.M. ET

Department of State, FLO Room 1239

This session is designed for an adult audience and will address the challenges children face in today’s busy world. The one hour interactive workshop will provide ways for parents to identify signs of stress in their children, discuss how adults’ and kids’ bodies react to stress, and provide techniques to reduce stress.

A trainer from MHN (a Health Net company) will facilitate the discussion.

Remote participation:

You do not have to attend in person. This workshop is available virtually. Virtual participants will need a computer with a high-speed internet connection and computer speakers. The “chat” function will allow virtual participants to post questions during the presentation. There is a workbook to use during the workshop. Please contact FLOAskUT@state.gov to request a copy.

Who may participate?

This program is open to all U.S. government employees, their family members, and Members of Household.  It may be especially useful to those affected by long-term temporary duty (TDY) and permanent change of station assignments to unaccompanied posts or high threat posts.

How to participate:

Contact FLOAskUT@state.gov to participate in person. Virtual participants will log on to https://deptofstatehr.adobeconnect.com/r23k31mdibr/.  Enter as a guest; type your name and your current or future post. 

If you have questions: Please contact FLO's Unaccompanied Tours Support Team at

202-647-1076 or 1-800-440-0397 or email FLOAskUT@state.gov

Life in the Hooch

"Hey Roomie!"

Who knew that at this point in life, of living on your own or with your spouse and kids, you may be reverting back to having a roommate??

Welcome to life in a hooch!

Excerpted from DSMP Director, Dr. Chantay P. White's article "The Reality of Living with a Roommate" are some great 'Tips for living in the field' which will help smooth out any wrinkles that may arise from sharing tight quarters with a roomie:

Space:                  be considerate.  You each get 1/2, it's that easy unless otherwise mutually 
                              agreed.

Permission:          the golden rule is to ask permission before using your roomie's personal
                               items; no exceptions.

Shhhhh:                it comes down to negotiation.  Schedule when "quiet times" and "activity 
                               hours" are, then respect them.

Cleanliness:          it's next to godliness, or so the saying goes.  But there's no need to be a 
                               'god/goddess' but you do need to keep your space clean.  Agree upon the
                               cleanliness expectation from the beginning.

Moola:                   talk money from the start;  decide how the common household items will 
                               be divied up

Listen:                  be a good listener; be patient; make comprimises; be understanding; be 
                              asssertive (not passive or aggressive)
                       
Communicate:     Don't let things fester.  Repectful communication to solve conflicts 
                               that may arise, will go far to make a happy home.  Agreeing on mutually 
                               acceptable "rules" for living together will make having a roomie more fun!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS!

The Family Liaison Office (FLO) together with MHN  will conduct an interactive in-person and virtual webinar on Tuesday Feb 18, 2014 @ 9am EST. 

The webinar is designed for all employees and their family members (spouse, partner, children, parents, siblings) experiencing or interested 

in an unaccompanied tour (UT).

Participants may attend in person or call in.  The session will last one hour.  To participate virtually,contact FLOAskUT@state.gov for sign-on instructions.   If attending in person, it will be held in room 1239 of the Harry S. Truman Building.  

Topics to be covered will include an explanation of MHN’s services inclusive of navigating the MHN website to find health and work/life articles, assessments, and resources as well as an overview of existing FLO services, counseling options, and specialized training.

Coming in the Spring....

another informative webinar on April 16, 2014 dealing with the subject of “Reintegration after an Unaccompanied Tour".  The session will present material on all aspects of reintegration; relationships, family life issues, and work issues.

High-Stress/Threat Unaccompanied Tour Employee Support Group Have you recently returned from, or are you en route to, a high-stress/threat or unaccompanied post?  Are you finding it difficult to adjust to a “normal” environment?  Would you like to know what to expect?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, this support group may be for you! The Deployment Stress Management Program in the Office of Medical Services sponsors a support group to all State Department and USAID employees who have served at or are en route to a high-stress/threat or unaccompanied post. The support group is confidential and provides an opportunity for employees to share their experiences, ask questions, and support each other.  The support group is facilitated by MED/MHS/DSMP Social Workers and is held monthly, on the first Wednesday from 12:00 to 1:00p.m., in the Ralph Bunche Library (Room 3239), Harry S. Truman Building (Main State).  The next support group meeting will be held on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014.  Registration is not required. For more information please contact at Mr. Michael Arthur at 703-516-1663 or ArthurMJ@state.gov.

Communication Tips During a UT

Communication Tips for Unaccompanied Tours

By Margaret 

Communicating during a UT can sometimes be a challenge.  Uncontrollable factors such as time differences, work and other commitments that require time and attention, and power outages (just to name a few) can really impact our ability to communicate with our loved ones serving abroad.  Because communication is important and sometimes limited, we must make sure that we make every second count when we do get the opportunity to communicate. The following are some tips for communicating during a UT:

1.    Keeping it in perspective.  Understand that what may seem urgent to you back here on the home front may not seem as urgent to your loved one who is serving on a UT.  Therefore, if you share an issue with your loved one and do not receive a response that you like, don’t take it personally.  Nine times out of ten, your spouse may be dealing with issues that are far more urgent than those that are going on at home.  However, rest assured that this does not mean that he/she is not concerned about your issue.  Keep things in perspective, and don’t waste valuable time on the phone, Skype, etc. complaining about issues that are really out of your spouse’s control.  Instead, value the time that you have to communicate with one another, and try to focus on the positive.

2.    Keep it creative.  Oftentimes, long distance communication with your loved one can become routine, boring, and limited. While modern technology has made it easy to communicate with our loved ones who are away, sometimes it may be worthwhile to revert back to “snail mail” for a change.  Instead of using the telephone or Skype, try writing a love letter to your spouse. Can you imagine how happy he/she will be to receive a thoughtful, hand-written love letter? If writing is not your thing, simply send a care package with items that communicate “I love you” such as a CD with a mixture of love songs, a book of poems, or a collage of pictures that illustrate “love.” 

3.    Keep FLO/UT in mind in times of uncertainty.  Uncontrollable factors such as power outages, civil unrest, and long work hours may sometimes make it impossible for your loved one serving on a UT to communicate with you.   If you have not heard from your loved one and are concerned about whether or not he/she is okay, please do not hesitate to contact FLO/UT with your concerns.  We are here for you!

4 Tips for a Successful Unaccompanied Tour

4 Tips for a successful Unaccompanied Tour

By Sherri 

1. Take care of yourself.     Remember you can’t help your loved one if you are sick or emotionally drained.  Take the time to eat right, sleep and give yourself the occasional break; you deserve it!

Resources the State Department offers to DOS, USAID, and their family members:

·         Deployment Stress Management Program (DSMP) is located in Mental Health Services within the Office of Medical Services.  The DSMP is a community based program to support the psychological health of Foreign Service Officers, Department of State (DoS) and USAID employees, and their families who are or will be assigned to high stress / high threat / unaccompanied tours (HS/HT/UT).  The DSMP provides information, referrals, initial assessment, and brief treatment for problems related to the stress of deployment.  They offer a support group meeting twice a month in the Department of State and meditation practice. For more information, visit www.state.gov/m/med/dsmp/index.htm  

·         Employee Consultation Service (ECS) has a staff of psychiatric social workers.  They offer consultation, evaluation, and referral services to families of U.S. government employees assigned to diplomatic posts abroad and to employees and family members on an unaccompanied tour.  Walk-ins are welcome, or you may schedule an appointment.  For more information www.state.gov/m/dghr/flo/c21952.htm

·         MHN, Inc. is a comprehensive mental and behavioral health services company with extensive experience in providing confidential web-based, telephonic, and in-person resources to employees and family members throughout an unaccompanied tour.   Log on with the word (single word lower case) unaccompaniedtour in the company code https://members.mhn.com/external/public/default/homepage 

Other places to look:

·         The Integrative Restoration Institute (IRI) provides programs that show you how to live a contented life, free of conflict and fear, by opening your mind and body to its inherent ground of health and well-being: www.irest.us

·         Authentic Happiness is the homepage of Dr. Martin Seligman, Director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and founder of positive psychology, a branch of psychology that focuses on the empirical study of such things as positive emotions, strengths-based character, and healthy institutions.  www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

2. Be organized.   Whether you are getting ready to leave for the first time or getting ready for the final R&R, it is always a good idea to look at, use, and make check lists. Times of transition (whether it be going to or coming from Post) can be very stressful.  And, stressful situations can sometimes cause us to be forgetful (amongst other things).  This is where those lists become very important for you and your family; they help you to remember!

·         Write FLO!  We have a number of good lists we can forward to you. FLOaskUT@state.gov

·         Overseas Briefing Center (OBC) helps U.S. Government employees and their family members prepare for an overseas assignment or a return home.  We encourage you to explore the  website and email OBC (FSIOBCInfoCenter@state.gov) with questions and requests for additional information www.state.gov/m/fsi/tc/c49333.htm 

3. Think security. Your home, your car, your personal safety and your virtual presence all need extra care.

·         Create good passwords and change them often.  Use sites like USAA’s Password Strength Indicator to see how strong your password is.  www.usaa.com/inet/pages/security_take_steps_protect_logon?action=INIT&wa_ref=SEC_CTR_YourSec_logon_CyberCodeText&SearchRanking=7&SearchLinkPhrase=password

·          Wondering about an offer and can’t get in touch with your partner for advice?  Use www.lookstoogoodtobetrue.com   for advice.

·         Look at State Department Federal Credit Union on their tips for the Foreign Service www.sdfcu.org/ForeignServiceCenter

4.  Cultivate appreciation.  Take time to appreciate the little things!  Appreciate the sacrifice your loved one is making for you and for the service of this country.  Appreciate all the hard work your family is doing while you are away doing an unaccompanied tour.  Tell your loved one how much you appreciate them!   Brag about them to others and let your loved one overhear!  Write words of appreciation in your e-mails and other communications.  Remember the words of Voltaire: “Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” 

If you have kids...

This website has some good ideas about how to help your young children best cope during the employee's time away from home.


Happy Monday!

Cheers to Happy Hour!

You invited to an Unaccompanied Tour Informational Happy Hour!  It will take place on Wednesday, May 2, at the Oakwood Falls Church. It will be held in the State Room, and will run from 6:30 p.m. until 9 p.m. or so.


Like other AAFSW happy hours, this will be a time to relax, meet other folks from the Foreign Affairs community and ask questions of current AAFSW members.  Since a greater number of employees and families are considering UTs,  the Unaccompanied Tour will be the focal point of the discussion.

The tentative agenda is as follows:

6:30 p.m Refreshments, mix and mingle 

7:00 p.m. Presentation by FLO (UT TEAM), followed by a Q&A

7:30 p.m. Presentation by Transition Center (FSI) staff, followed by Q&A

8:00 p.m. Panel of EFMs who have experienced or are currently experiencing an unaccompanied tour

8:30 p.m. Wrap-up

There is a great panel of EFMs lined up and we are very excited that so many will be attending the event.  Please remember that this is a no-cost event sponsored by AAFSW and please feel free to attend even if you are only toying with the notion of a UT. 

If you will be in the area and have any interest in attending, please send a note to jdinoia@yahoo.com or FLOaskUT@state.gov with your name and your UT status (considering, anticipating, in the middle of, completed & would like to offer assistance/advice).  See you there!

Ideas to make staying in touch easier...

Check out this article from Real Simple magazine about creative ways to stay in touch with family and friends while away.

MHN Orientation Postponed

Many of you who attended the December reception received a list of scheduled 2012 UT events.  We are postponing the MHN Orientation Webinar originally scheduled for January 19th.  Once a new date is finalized, it will be posted on the blog.  Sorry for the confusion!

Today's Event: Diplomacy at Home for the Holidays

Today, The Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton, will host Diplomacy at Home for the Holidays for 350 unaccompanied tour family members.  For those who are able to join us, we look forward to seeing you today.  For those who are unable to join us, we want to invite you to take part in some of the exciting virtual opportunities offered by our partnership with Skype and the Department of State.  If you have any questions about how to join via Skype please contact FLOaskUT@state.gov

You can learn more about starting to use Skype at http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/support/user-guides/start-skype/. You can also find more info about making video calls using Skype at http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/support/user-guides/video-calling/.

Check out these hooches...

These hooches have a had a facelift.  Check out these creative contructions here. 

One thing leads to another...click-click...

...and that is what makes the internet so entertaining.


I'm always interested in staying current with vast collection of Foreign Service blogs, so I make an effort to check out the official State blogroll.  After a few clicks here and few scrolls there, I landed on the well-known Life After Jerusalem blog.  This blog includes the longest list of Foreign Service blogs I've seen so far.  The list just keeps going...and I keep clicking...


What I found: 


A blog I'd never seen before- all about life in Kabul as a Cultural Affairs Officer.  It has some interesting pictures.  Click here.


Another find:  A NY Times article about biometric data collection in Afghanistan.  If you are an EFM, and have worked in a consular section before capturing fingerprints, you will appreciate this article.  Click here.  

Wing Tips On The Ground, one of our favorites, includes a packing list and tips (including some great pictures) before heading to Iraq.  Click here.  

                      

Happy Monday!

Holiday Party at the State Department

The Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton, Secretary of State, will host Diplomacy at Home for the Holidays, a reception for family members of unaccompanied tour employees this December at the Department of State. This is a wonderful opportunity for family members in the Washington D.C. area to get into the holiday spirit and to honor the work, service and sacrifice of State Department men and women that are currently on unaccompanied tours.

In order to receive an official invitation, please contact FLOaskUT@state.gov for details within the next week.  Please note that ‘Family’ is defined broadly to include spouse, partner, fiancé, parent, sibling, and children of anyone under Chief of Mission at an unaccompanied tour posting.

Are you in the D.C. area on November 30th from 6pm-9pm?

Learn how to nurture and strengthen relationships during unaccompanied tours with FSI's Long Distance Relatioships class, MQ801.  This class is open to all foreign affairs agency employees and adult EFMs.  To register, email FLOaskUT@state.gov to find out how to register.  I took the class last year and thought it was well worth it!

Enjoy the weekend! 

FOUR QUICK STRESS BUSTERS

Use these quick techniques whenever you feel
stressed at work or home:

1.  Count 10 slow, deep breaths.
2.  Do five slow, small circles with your head,
stretching out your neck muscles.
3.  Stop what you are doing and get up. Walk
around your office or go to another room for
just a few minutes.
4.  Picture yourself in a place you find relaxing





Do you know about our new program...

..."Ask A Returnee"?

Whether you are posted to an unaccompanied tour, getting ready to go, or just thinking of bidding, you may have questions about life before, during, and after an unaccompanied tour.  We have assembled a group of people that are either serving or have served at an unaccompanied post.  They are ready to answer your questions and make suggestions about rules, regulations, and everyday life.  This is a great opportunity to ask real people, FSOs, EFMs, contractors, and others what life at these posts is really like.  Remember “to know the road ahead, ask those coming back”.

We have provided our volunteers with pseudonyms so they will feel comfortable responding honestly to your questions.  If the pseudonyms look familiar; good for you, they were first made popular by Ben Franklin.

We just launched this program and we are starting with Monterray.  Read Polly Baker's responses here.  Have a question about Monterrey?  Email us at FLOaskUT@state.gov and we will direct your question to Polly and post the response here. 

Foreign Service Officer Michael recently returned from serving one year in Monterrey, Mexico.  Shortly after Michael's family arrived in Monterrey, the post was declared unaccompanied.  Michael's family had to unexpectedly turn right back around and return to the United States while he remained at post for the next year.  Michael's son, Michael Jr., is seen in this video receiving his Medal and Certificate of Recognition on June 9, 2011 - in appreciation for the sacrifice asked of him while separated from his father.  Congratulations to Michael Jr.!

If you want information on how to nominate your child for a Medal and Certificate of Recognition, email us at: FLOaskUT@state.gov

Thanks for sharing this video with us!