Repatriation Advice:
10 Tips for Handling Reverse Culture Shock
Repatriating can be as difficult as moving to a foreign country in the first place. Adults feel the very real pangs of saying good-bye to their exotic adventure. Children face the loss of, well, everything they know. For everyone, there is the job of beginning again. But life has many chapters, and these tips can help you make “back home” feel like home again.Have family discussions about relocating and let each person have a voice. Open, honest communication makes everyone feel heard, and that they are an important player in the transition.
Have
family discussions about relocating and let each person have a voice. Open,
honest communication makes everyone feel heard, and that they are an important
player in the transition.
Realize
that not every member of the family will be thrilled about the move. If the
current location is home to the children, they may fear the unknown. Spouses
may dread the red tape and their own job search. Acknowledging these legitimate
concerns is important.
Accommodate
personal temperaments. Some people are adventurous; others hate change. Some
think ahead more than others. Each family member will experience the adjustment
phase differently, and the duration and intensity will vary.
Monitor
your kids. Children are resilient, but moving can be a huge adjustment for
them. Give your children time, urge them to make new friends by using their
cultural diversity as an entrée, by expanding their notion of who friends
should be and by looking for peers with more diverse interests and backgrounds.
Encourage them to be confident and to see the possibilities. If they don’t
settle in well, though, consider third-party help from a counselor or
psychologist.
Recognize
that you may feel like an outsider for a time. You won’t be aware of recent
local events or inside jokes that your family and friends share. (And they may
be uninterested in or apathetic about your new interests and hobbies.) So
expand your circle of friends. Look for an international community or expat
group where you can meet people who have lived in other countries.
Bring
the culture back with you. Create new family traditions by incorporating some
of the customs and foods from your expat days, and share them with family and
friends. Your life has been enriched and you don’t want to lose that.
Leverage
your international experience at work, in school, or other activities. Your
kids may become wonderful resources in geography or humanities class! Beware of
sensitive perceptions, though. From my home in Belgium I could go to Paris for
the day or London for the weekend—and some regard this as boasting.
Stay
in touch with the friends you made abroad. As the one who left, it will fall to
you to make the greater effort to stay connected. Skype and FaceTime provide a
visual and more emotional link, but email, Facebook and other social media are
just as important. It’s inevitable that some folks will drift away, but the
ones who stay connected will be treasured ties to that time in your life.
Invite
folks from your former country to visit. You might worry that you’ll be overrun
with guests, but trust me: people have good intentions about visiting, yet in
reality things come up and trips get postponed. The numbers will be manageable.
Budget
for return visits. Seeing people in person, even if only once in a while, is
the best way to cement long-distance friendships. They’ll appreciate your
return, and you’ll enjoy reminiscing when you visit favorite spots. When I’m in
the Frankfurt area, it’s a treat to return to my favorite Greek restaurant in
Offenbach—not only for the food, but also for the memories.
The Wall Street Journal - by Elizabeth Vennekens-Kelly
